Dot-to-Dot

I don't understand myself sometimes... I think that's a trait that everyone has. But lately it's been about relationships. Something that I know the least about. I am probably the one 20 year old with the least bit of experiance in relationships. I am; a kiss virgin, virgin, relationship virgin, virgin.

I am at this point where I am jumping from one dot to another, and not making a pretty picture of it. One moment I'm here, then another I'm there... but something happened last night that has put me in a place where I don't feel like I will be leaving it. A permant dot, if you will. I speak in riddles for privacy sake, obviously. But, for clarification, each one of these dots would have a name, and there are three of them. One dot has some interesting traits, another traits that better suit me, and the third, where I feel I am, has the traits that I super long for.

I haven't felt this in such a long time. Over the course of this past school year I felt like I had been forcing my emotions a great deal, in that I was trying to find someone and pushed my emotions in all directions. Unfortunately, that for a while left me confused. The dot that I stand on currently has left me in distain for reasons of doubt. Maybe doubt is a poor word to use. I feel like the possibilty of things working for me on this dot are highly, probably, very difficult. It's the distance... a very distant dot... but I never felt so close to it either.

I feel in my gut it's for me. Something is there, and I just pray that God will let it work out. Oh I'm so fickle... so indecisive... I could just punch myself!